dynamic elf

I would say "it's funny how OBVIOUS dream metaphors are, isn't it?" but it's possible not everyone would get as much out of a dream about friction shifters vs indexed shifters as I did.

I have a bunch of little Natalie anecdotes I've been meaning to post, because I've been thinking about her intellectual development, but this one takes the cake so much that it gets its own post.

[Late at night]
N: Mama! Mama!
Me: What's up, sweetie?
N: I'm scared.
Me: Did you have a bad dream?
N: Yes. [*snuggling*]
Me: That's hard. I'm sorry. It's OK, you're here now, and so am I, and it wasn't real.
N: *snuggles more*
Me: What's a nice thing that you'd rather dream about?
N: I want to dream about... NOTHING. I don't want ANY dreams.
Me: What about something nice we did today? Like swimming in the lake or seeing the chickens?
N: OK. .....No. I want to dream about astronauts.
Me: OK.

[She falls asleep and snores soundly all night. In the morning, she crawls into my bed.]

Me: Good morning. How are you?
N: Good.
Me: I'm glad. No more scary dreams?
N: No.
Me: Good.
N: But my dream was so scary! In it, the ONLY THING I could do to SAVE a person from DYING was to get a globe and turn it into a wolf and make it CHASE someone!
Me: Wow! That's complicated, and scary!
N: And it had to chase YOU!
Me: Wow.

*pause while I try to figure out what on earth to say to this*

Me: You know, if the only way you could save someone from dying was to make a wolf chase me, I would want you to do that and it would be okay. And it's still a really scary thing to think about.
N: Yeah.
Me: Yeah.

*another pause*

N: And then it chased ME!!!
Me: Oh no!
N: Yes. And then I put my nose up to its nose and looked at it and then we made friends and it was okay.


To be honest, I think that last part was her rewriting the ending after waking up, and maybe also remembering this picture:



And that's okay with me. Rewriting endings to bad stories in your head can be a powerful tool.

But really? Weighing certain death for someone else against having to inflict frightening possible death on your mommy? That's a complex philosophical problem and I'm honestly not certain I'm equipped to tackle it at 7 in the morning.

It remains true: raising this kid is going to be very interesting.

[Scene: two parents and a kid lolling in bed. The alarm goes off; D wakes up, I wake up, N snoozes mightily.]

Me: I think she's asleep.
N: *ZZZZZZZZZZ*
D: Seriously! It's funny.
Me: Yeah. *laugh*
N: [sleeepily] YEAH, because the frogs are eating the pretty umbrellas! *sleepy giggles*

*uncontrollable quiet laughter from parents*

N: Why are you laughing?
Me: Because you said a funny dream thing and I liked it.
N: IT IS REAL!

Um okay.

Background to my dream, the main plot of which I have forgotten: we live in the near future, and all driver's licenses have little chips in them which can be scanned to determine whether your license has been suspended or revoked. Maybe half of all cars on the road have sensors to scan and verify that the driver has a valid license before starting up. Most new cars have it built in.

The chips were introduced to make it safer and easier for the police to scan your license and pull up your information without making you reach into your pockets; there is a big controversy about the car thing, but the chip-sensor cars seem bound to make it in the end.

---

I remember when driver's licenses in Maine did not have photos on them. I don't think I'm making that up, but I'm not 100% sure. Time plays funny tricks.

Last night, I dreamed that I suddenly gained the ability to look at stuff from outside my own head -- that is, to actually view things from a vantage point other than my own eyes, with perfect clarity. I immediately squealed with delight and used this new perspective and skill to give myself a really excellent haircut. Seriously, it was divine. I was very proud.

I'd be sheepish if it weren't so damn accurate a portrayal of myself.

"In Nebraska, cakes are usually a thick layer of shredded carrot on top of a layer of cream cheese. If it's a mature cake you've got on your hands, the bottom layer is probably salad."

I had a dream that my child was into kids' metal, and I had to keep buying albums by bands with names like "Chickensqueeze" and "Gristlemime".

just because a recipe came to you in a dream...
...doesn't mean it's good.

For the first time in ages (ever?), I actually had a dream about studying for an exam. I had two hours before the test itself, and I was busy finally doing the reading. I went down to practice -- for some reason, I had to play my answers on the piano -- and came back to find my book gone. I searched all around for it for an hour, and eventually found that my brother's friends had stolen it and were reading it up on a neighbor's rooftop. They gave it back, I played my final answers on the piano and then went off to take the test and started dreaming about something else.

I don't usually have such straightforward dreams. At least I wasn't naked.

I just got email from two people who used the abbreviation "BGL" in an offhanded way, sans explanation. One meant "big gay love" (K), and the other meant "bad grammar lawyer".

I dreamt I was driving a Mini when the bridge I was on suddenly disappeared. The water below was only chest-deep, though, so we jumped out of the car, picked it up, and set it on one of the bits of bridge that remained. This worked. I was relieved that I owned a small car and had been keeping up with the weightlifting, but I still couldn't quite heft the car all the way over my head.