I just can't think about this sort of thing for very long.

[moominmolly]

Last Thursday, I left work, like I always do. I turned onto the onramp for 95 south, with three cars ahead of me and one or two behind. As I was starting to round the curve, I watched a guy on the offramp right next to us have his motorcycle slide right out from underneath him. He rolled and rolled and then came to a stop; his bike slid off into the grass.

The two cars in front of me that surely saw this sped past, as did at least one car behind me. I pulled to a stop on the side of the ramp and ran over -- I know no first aid, but I have a cell phone and the guy was hurt. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Cars behind me on the onramp slowed as they passed, watching the pregnant lady huff over to the guy on the ground, and I have to say that while a couple of people stopped, most just stared and kept going.

Is it just me, or is that weird?

Anyway, I got to him, and he was moving and speaking coherently. Miracles of modern body armor, his jacket was shredded on the outside and his helmet was definitely the worse for wear. He himself seemed together, though, and not bleeding or awkwardly bent. I bent down; he asked me to call his wife. I called 911, and then called the number he gave me. Slowly, a few people came over. One said he was a nurse, one was a fellow motorcyclist who just finished recovering from his crash injuries a few months ago, and one just had a cell phone and wanted to help. They tended to the man, telling him he'd be okay and asking him not to move.

At the number he gave me was his mom, or possibly his wife's mom. I wasn't sure. It didn't matter. I asked for LaShawn, and the woman said she was out on a run. I told her the guy's name, said he seemed basically okay but injured, and gave her my cell number to give to his wife. She called me back a few minutes later, and I said the same thing to her. I think her voice dropped an octave. She had a strange timbre to her voice after that, like a quiet yowling cat, like her heart had sunk into the ground. I told her where we were, and she told me they lived around the corner on the base. At some point, I noticed that he had a clear plastic ID shield velcroed to the outside of his jacket, right on the breast where you'd put a HELLO MY NAME IS tag; it had his name, and his wife's name. The cop pulled up and took it off right away, as if he was accustomed to doing that sort of thing. At that point, the cop said he'd stay with the guy, and the four of us left.

I had the wife's "oh, GOD" voice in my head for the rest of the day. Everything seemed fragile; lean over one degree too far and before you know it, someone's making That Phone Call to your wife. I gave lots of hugs. I felt small but determined. I hoped he was okay. I hoped I was okay, too. I still can't stop seeing those first few gawking faces in SUVs, getting on the highway but taking a moment to stare at the one lady bent over the very still accident victim. Would they have stopped if I hadn't been there? I like to think so. But would they have?

This morning, I got a call from an unidentified number in the 781 area code. It was Luther, the guy, calling to thank me. I hadn't considered that of *course* he had my phone number, since his wife had called me. He was very polite, and a bit formal: he called me ma'am. Apparently, he broke his collarbone, but everything else was just bumps and scrapes. I told him I was very glad he was okay, and thanked him for letting me know. All I could see in my head was his ID velcroed to his chest, facing outward.

It's all so close.

Comments

[dancingwolfgrrl.livejournal.com]

Scary, in more than one way...

[spike.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I was once "that guy", and I can't tell you how much of a difference "you" made to me that day.

Thank you.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Well, oh my -- you are welcome. Maybe people who've felt close to the edge themselves are more likely to be the person who jumps out of the car to help: it's probably no accident that the four people who stopped were a pregnant biker, a motorcyclist, an old guy, and a nurse. Hadn't really thought about it in exactly that way, before.

On my big bike trip, I had dozens of kind strangers give me food and water and shelter when I needed them. I felt like I'd discovered some sort of secret side of humanity, and I never figured out how to thank people properly. Like the roadwork van in Kansas that passed us biking, drove out to get a gigantic keg of ice water, drove back to where we were, and parked, just so two strangers would have some good ice water on a hot day. I can't imagine that *everyone* is like Mr. Water Van Guy, but I hope enough people are to keep the world from descending into pure cubbyholed shittiness.

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

Whoa, what an amazing experience.

[contessagrrl.livejournal.com]

It's a sad world when I feel compelled to cheer you on for doing what -- once upon a time -- I believed we would all do.

Just the same - rah! rah! Go you.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I think I believed we'd all do that until last week.

Just the same - thanks. :)

[fanw.livejournal.com]

You did a wonderful thing! I wish it was more common, that more folks stopped to help rather than just gawk. It's amazing how distant people sometimes are from the rest of humanity. And I'm glad you got a chance to hear the end of the story, that he called you to let you know.

I haven't seen an accident quite like that, or been the first to a scene, but I did once see a pedestrian hit by a car at a busy intersection. The car was going relatively slowly, but the man who was hit still flew threw the air, rolling. I was a few cars behind when it happened. The guy actually got up, limped over to the car and started yelling at the driver (with good reason!) and the police were very shortly there, but for days I had the image stuck in my head. It was an image so close to death, even though it didn't happen to end that way. It was horrifying in a deeply human visceral sort of way.

I hope that knowing you did the right thing and that hearing from the man that he was okay will help you pass through this so that the memory can get tucked away rather than staying at the forefront of your mind. Many *hugs* to you.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

It was horrifying in a deeply human visceral sort of way.

Yeah! Wow.

For some reason, it seems stranger to think that people would gawk at a motorcycle accident. I mean, we're used to dehumanizing other cars, right? But a guy who's fallen off of a motorcycle is so clearly a *guy*.

I think it's safely tucked away again -- I just have a heightened sense of mortality.

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Whoooa.  Wow.  I'm glad he's doing okay.

Every time I see someone on the side of the road (with a car, I mean), I have a vague urge to pull over, even though they probably have it all in hand.  Once, I did pull over when driving on local roads near the mall in Framingham, because there was this guy sitting at a light, looking despondant (the light being green, the car being not going).  He had it in hand, too, but I felt good for at least offering to help.

[tcb.livejournal.com]

Zaphod, she said patiently, they were floating unprotected in open space ... you wouldn't want them to have died would you?
Well, you know ... no. Not as such, but ...
Not as such? Not die as such? But? Trillian cocked her head on one side.
Well, maybe someone else might have picked them up later.
A second later and they would have been dead.
Yeah, so if you'd taken the trouble to think about the problem a bit longer it would have gone away.

unfortunately, many folks fall into that category.. and it might not even be because they don't actually care.. it might just take a few moments to register what's going on, and by that point at highway speeds, they are now a half mile or a mile down the road, with no way to really turn around. or maybe they are truly on their way somewhere and can't afford the time.. or maybe they are squicked or afraid.. me, I've stopped before, even with a fairly low tolerance for real blood. if I've not been able to stop, I've called the state police right away, noting the mile markers.

kudos to you for stopping. kudos to the others who did as well. it can't ever be assumed that "someone else will take care of it"..

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

it might just take a few moments to register what's going on

Definitely true. Although there were three cars in front of me, I figure that at least one of them didn't have time to register what was up before getting on the highway. I'm actually really glad that that wasn't me, since I'd probably have felt sick to my stomach and STILL not thought of calling the police to report the location. Thanks for reminding me that that's a possibility.

[tcb.livejournal.com]

*SP (*77) from most (all?) cell phone providers will call the state police.. giving them a description, the road, direction, and mile markers will give them everything they need..

[coraline]

yeah, i was going to say if i'd been one of the people to actually see it happen, i probably would have been half a mile away before i'd recovered from my shock, and too far to backtrack. but i definitely would have called *77 and have done so in the past -- the dispatchers are nice and they send someone out immediately.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I didn't know about *SP but 911 has worked all three times I've needed to call the emergency services about an accident on the highway. (Thanks for the info!)

Last time that practice came in handy because I was a passenger in a car driving northbound on 128 when we suddenly saw a car flipping sideways through the air on the southbound side of the road. At the time I didn't have a phone but one of the back seat passengers did. She was too freaked out to call, so I borrowed the phone and gave the standard report. (The driver was busy looking for a lane to dodge into in case the airborne car jumped the divider.)

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

911 worked for me, too. However, they did transfer me to the state police, so *SP might be quicker.

Re: that accident: yikes!

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

However, they did transfer me to the state police, so *SP might be quicker.

Yah, that's useful info.

Re: that accident: yikes!

I remember at the time having the somewhat inappropriate amazed thought, "How do you do that?"

(BTW, at first I thought it implicit but it's worth saying: as someone who has been the guy in the wreck, I thank you for stopping.)

[imlad.livejournal.com]

It is good to know that people like you still exist - people who do the decent human thing - helping fellow human beings in dire situations.

[freshwater-pr0n.livejournal.com]

you're good folks. i wish that more people had those helping instincts.

Yes, indeed, go you!

[amber-phoenix.livejournal.com]

One of the things I've noticed about my Canadian friends (who, admittedly, are my friends and usually not therefore mainstream) is that they seem much more likely to help strangers - someone fallen on the street, person in need of tent stake, etc. I think, perhaps, that their culture makes this easier than ours. Ours not only being secluded and individual, but also scared of everything. It perturbs me, even while I recognize that I may never stop for a hitchhiker in this country. The urge to help is there, but the trained, gut level fear of what might go wrong is still strong. (I hope I *would* stop for an accident, but it's never been tested.)

I'm really glad he's OK.

Canadians

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I've noticed this general trend, too. I always figured it was because there's less *stuff* (and fewer people) in Canada, and so someone stranded by the side of the road is more likely to be screwed if you don't stop. But the culture of fear probably has a lot to do with it, too.

I've only ever picked up hitchhikers once, in Maine, and it was fine. They were cute young hippies going to a party on a lake somewhere. I don't think I'd do it again, though, and certainly not in Boston -- on the other hand, if I had a pickup truck and I saw a broken-down cyclist, I probably would stop before thinking. :)

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

I guess that have a more cheerful take on it. It sounds like within a few minutes of his accident, four people stopped for him-two people with specifically useful knowledge and two more with cellphones and a desire to help. That seems to me just about the right number of people to get the job done.

I mean, I still have more respect for you and the others to stop to than those who kept going. But in terms of a general "Society's going to hell" standpoint, we seem to be doing pretty well. If all those people had stopped, they probably would have just stood around saying inane things and getting in the way. Once you get past a certain number, people become a crowd. Crowds are not nearly as useful as people in an emergency.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have to agree with you. I have NO problem with the people who passed by once there were a few people around -- I would have done the same, and it's definitely the right thing to do. In fact, I was happy that every time I looked up, there wasn't even a rubbernecker bottleneck (rubberbottleneck?) on the highway's on-ramp. I think I was just taken aback by the proportion of first-few-people-past who stopped, since I'd already gotten his name, spoken with him, and fully placed one call before anyone else showed up.

But you're probably right about the cheerful bit. I wonder if the proportion changes when it's not 5:15 PM right by a major metro highway -- and I wonder if it changes up or down.

[safetybitch.livejournal.com]

Crowds are not nearly as useful as people in an emergency.
Nope, they're a massive pain. Statistically, though, 90% of people will not stop unless someone else already has... and while I've responded to many, many, far worse accident scenes than that, people need to remember that EMS can't get there until they're notified. Even if there are good reasons not to stop, grabbing a cell phone to call 911 is more critical than people realise.

Molly, thank you.

[fanw.livejournal.com]

BTW, this reminds me of the Good Samaritan study. Turns out that the biggest factor in whether or not a seminary student will stop to help someone is if they have been told they're late or not. If they're in a hurry, they won't stop even if they are going to give a sermon on the Good Samaritan!

link to a description here

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Hah, yes! I read about this once, but had totally forgotten about it! I also like that the subject's professed religiousness level had no correlation to helping behavior.

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

You are my hero.

I mean, you always have been. But now you really are.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

What he said. Just wait til Spawny hears about this one.

[harimad.livejournal.com]

Had I seen someone on the road like that, my thoughts would be:
- Did I just see what I thought I saw?
- What's the nearest road marker?
- Can I stop abruptly without causing another accident?
- If I stop and help, will I be putting myself in danger?
If the answers to the first two are yes and got it; and the answers to the second two are on the chancy side, I would pull over a little later and call emergency. I might not pull over but I would not leave it alone, assuming that someone else will take care of the problem.

I know because I've done it before.

[wolfkitn.livejournal.com]

yet another situation where i sit back, stare, and say wow: there are some incredible people in this world. i'm glad to know you, to know that you are one of them (not that i'm surprised), to know that i am also one of them (i've done the same thing, not exactly, but similar), and to be thankful that there is often, though not always one in a crowd who is willing to do the unusual thing.

thank you, molly.

(i was already about to be tearful, but this pushed me over the edge.)

[keyne.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you stopped.

I make a habit of calling the state police to report disabled vehicles on the highway, especially in bad weather, or if it's getting dark; I'd like to think people would do the same for me. I've reported a couple of accidents (one a fairly spectacular rollover) where it seemed like I was the first to call the police. And last week Tim and I backtracked about a mile because we wondered whether a car we'd seen pulled over, with its door open and nobody visible, contained someone who needed help (the car was gone when we got back there, so we figured all was well).

It worries me sometimes that many folks prefer to Let Somebody Else Do It.

[mrf-arch.livejournal.com]

You rock, in so many ways.

I'm glad to hear he'll be okay.

[rednikki.livejournal.com]

I'm shocked no one else stopped, and I think it's wonderful that you did.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

you're not the only one who stops. i stopped about a month and a half ago to help a guy who got smacked by a car in front of me in NYC, and then about 3 weeks ago, midnightstation and i stopped again for a guy who got ejected out of his car.

the latter one, so close to the first -- well, i'm going back for CPR training. it's been too long since i did it, and i keep ending up around this stuff, and i always stop. so, best to be prepared.

n.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

CPR training is a good idea.

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

Wow. It's just so....wow. Thank you for sharing!

[gentlescholar.livejournal.com]

You are my hero.

And just think: someday spawny will be able to say, "Hey, I was helping out accident victims before I was even born!"

[gentlescholar.livejournal.com]

As for myself; I probably wouldn't have stopped if anyone else was there, but I would have made a cell call regardless, because one more cell call doesn't hurt, and if it's the first one it helps.

[delerium69.livejournal.com]

You did a VERY GOOD THING.

I've called about accidents before; I'd like to think I'd stop for someone needing help (well I don't drive, but you know...). When I was living in Boston one summer I woke to the sounds of someone in another apartment being beaten. Badly. I called the police, then my roommates and I sat in the apartment feeling freaked out. I've heard of people ignoring someone in trouble, and I know most people are locked in their own worlds, but the idea that some people would just turn away from what I heard is scary. It's important folks like you exist.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Oh, that would freak me out a *lot*. I can't imagine ignoring something like that. I would have had a hard time sitting in my own apartment, even though there's no other good option. :( Scary.

[delerium69.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was pretty damn scary and creepy. I wouldn't wish any of it on anybody else. But the cops did show up and haul someone away - we heard it. I've often wondered what happened; we didn't even know what apartment it was. I like to think other neighbors called it in too.

[justinjs.livejournal.com]

You're one of the good ones.

I'm glad he'll be okay.

[srd.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of the time I got to do first aid at an accident. Guy sweved off the road in a car and hit a tree frontally. We got to him two minutes later, but couldn't get him out of the car or help in any way. He was conscious but incoherent with pain, and the ambulance took ages to get there.

A day later he died in hospital.

One of the reasons I decided that I wouldn't drive a car if I could avoid it.