Adventures in shopping

If you ever go into EMS to buy straps and buckles for making stilts, be sure to accidentally not tell the sales guy what you're up to. Also, be sure to ignore everything else in the store. That way, when you measure the thick black nylon webbing by wrapping it thoughtfully around your leg, gesturing around an imaginary apparatus, pulling the strap looser, and then holding onto it while pulling your calf against it for some reason, the EMS guy will remain entirely expressionless. In fact, he will wait until you've decided you want 20 4-foot lengths of webbing and picked out your buckles, and he will wait until he's cut five or six of those 4-foot lengths before he asks, very casually:

"Ahhhh, so... what is it you're you planning to do with these, anyway?"