I'm much better about it than I used to be, but I've battled a sugar addiction my whole life. These days, it's down to a mechanism for stress management, which also means it's kind of a useful barometer. If you see me at a party and I'm eating sugar, it likely means I'm bored, lonely, and/or shy, and wish to god someone would talk about something interesting with me.
When I said to my favorite aunt that our family has a history of mental illness, she responded that it also has a history of authoritarian parenting. I watch the tendency in myself, and when I'm tired, overwhelmed, overfull of my child - yep, it comes out. I just knee-jerk tell her what to do, won't stop to take her perspective into account... and I imagine she just loses that piece of possibility, with no hope of getting it back. (Which is why I surround myself and her with people of other perspectives.)
When I get lost, I basically freak out. No one should ever have to be around me when I'm lost. Generally there's screaming and crying, and sometimes trying to break things in fury.
I am uncomfortable with people of intellect significantly lower than mine. I feel elitist and snobby about it, even though I don't experience it as being judgmental so much as awkward, fish-out-of-water. These days, I feel somewhat buffered by my large and intelligent community, but I certainly didn't have that before coming to Boston.
There. Maybe that will help dispel the impression of me as having it intimidatingly well together.
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Date: 2010-10-08 04:59 am (UTC)When I said to my favorite aunt that our family has a history of mental illness, she responded that it also has a history of authoritarian parenting. I watch the tendency in myself, and when I'm tired, overwhelmed, overfull of my child - yep, it comes out. I just knee-jerk tell her what to do, won't stop to take her perspective into account... and I imagine she just loses that piece of possibility, with no hope of getting it back. (Which is why I surround myself and her with people of other perspectives.)
When I get lost, I basically freak out. No one should ever have to be around me when I'm lost. Generally there's screaming and crying, and sometimes trying to break things in fury.
I am uncomfortable with people of intellect significantly lower than mine. I feel elitist and snobby about it, even though I don't experience it as being judgmental so much as awkward, fish-out-of-water. These days, I feel somewhat buffered by my large and intelligent community, but I certainly didn't have that before coming to Boston.
There. Maybe that will help dispel the impression of me as having it intimidatingly well together.