worrisome news

[moominmolly]

The living do not, in fact, outnumber the dead. Well, then, what the hell are we going to do when the zombie uprising comes?

Comments

[pseydtonne.livejournal.com]

We need to assess Which Dead Can Go Zombie? so that we have a scope of the potential zombie menace at any moment:

• How much corporeal putrefaction is necessary before the corpse is no longer viable for zombie activities? We tend to think of zombies as mostly assembled the way they had been as living people. However, most of our dead from a hundred years ago or more are bone collections at best. Do they not need muscle tissue and tendons to lumber across the countryside or strip mall parking lots? Are we instead dealing with the blood-clot-boy or golem approach: whatever the zombie's animator places into the body will synthesize mobility from its power of instantiation?
  
• Can we figure out the zombie language? If the zombies can gang up on one or a crew of us livestock, how do they coordinate? If they're just laissez-faire zombies without any integrated attack system, then we can simply chop some up and fling those pieces at the others before chopping again. If they can put their energies together, how are they communicating and how can we either interfere or propagate rival signals?
  
• Brains are nearly pure cholesterol. Look on a small can of calf brains and you'll see a single serving provides 1300% (that's thirteen hundred percent) of the RDA for cholesterol. Thus the zombie seeking to eat brains needs fats. Why can't we plan our defense runs using high-cholesterol foods as bait?
  
• Should we begin preemptive strikes against the dying humans by enforcing rapid evisceration by autopsy after death, organ donation and creation of the remainder? Let's stem the tide in an industrial fashion!
  
• Is night time the peak activity period for zombies, as shown in the George Romero model? Should we instead assume zombies are not vampires and carry scythes to work or at least keep them in the trunks of our cars and in umbrella racks in offices?

-sticky stuff on the floor too, Dante

[pseydtonne.livejournal.com]

By the way, this is the time of year when the zombies start their push. The ground starts to thaw after the vernal equinox (today at 8:07 p.m. EDT). Be prepared!