a serious inquiry:

[moominmolly]

How do you help someone feel like life is worth living when they've basically just given up and decided to wait to die?

You'd think I'd be good at solving this one, but I'm not.

Comments

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Things I have done/said, in no particular order, and a few other ideas.

1. Explain that something has to die, it just is not necessarily one's relationship to one's body. Suggest they figure out what it is, hold onto something tight, and let it wash over them like so much water splashing all over their body, clearing out the pain. On the other side of death is always rebirth. Always.

This is part of what has kept me kicking all this time. I know I can't escape karma this way--only prolong it. Sometimes a vacation might be in order, though, hard to tell for others.

2. Explain that if they took their life, I would dip into the spirit world, grab hold, and drag them back kicking and screaming into this plane of reality. And then I would kill them for it. Ok, I don't always say that last sentence.

The interesting thing is how many folks believe me. Who'da thunk.

3. Tell them I am not judging them, and ultimately, the decision is theirs.

"But it would mean so much to me if you could come visit to meet N, or if she and I could come visit you first".

4. Dominated someone until the pain of catharsis erupted up and out of their system (I channel this from a different source and ask for guidance when I do it. Still, it is rare for me to do this).

5. Pray for them.

6. Kept vigil for them during the roughest spots.

7. Lit a candle for them.

8. Talk to them in my dreams, setting the intention before I drift off to sleep.

9. Learn a bit about how to communicate with them through lucid dreaming and have a word with them/get a better handle on what' appropriate on both ends.

10. Tell jokes.

11. Dance with them. This one can be difficult.

12. Write a poem for them (I barely control that consciously, though).

13. Paint/draw a picture with the intention of helping them to endure as long as is reasonable (if it becomes apparent what "reasonable is in this case).

14. Listen. I'm not always good at this one. Still, I try.

15. Surround them in my mind with golden light, visualizing them being nourished in that bubble.

16. Blow bubbles in their directions. Giving them a water gun to shoot them down. I did this recently with some friends and it was a lot of fun. No idea how it would work in this case.

17. Take them to the beach in good weather.

18. Get someone local to them to visit with their pet once a week, provided the person feeling self-destructive enjoys animals and is not (too) allergic.

19. Bring them home and spoon them all night (I did this recently after holding someone in my arms for an hour and a half while they cried at a social event. Ironically, we had more than a little in common and now are pretty madly in love with one another. Who knew?).

Note for 19: The two who had romantic intention/energy toward/with him energetically released him (mostly) into my hands that night. I was told I'd gotten further with him in the previous hours than they had since they'd known him.

20. Tell them how much you love and care about them and how important they are, not just to you but to others as well.

21. Tell them you are so sorry for the pain they are in. Tell them they have done so much for you, and request a way you can give back to them.

22. Tell them how much you respect them for their accomplishments and/or for bringing all the love into the world that they have. Remind them of ways they have helped you.

23. Don't judge them for this. Ever.

24. If they have net, take a video of N saying hello and email it over. Not sure how well-connected yurts are, but it's a thought?:)

25. Forgive yourself.

*cyberhug*

[artricia.livejournal.com]

And take care of yourself.