I've only done a little bit of reading about it, and haven't looked at the extremist stuff at all. The thing that makes sense to me is the early association of elimination with the toilet; it seems like if that association is already there it would keep it from becoming a big power struggle at a later stage.* And while I'm not hugely experienced with Other People's Babies, it always seems like bowel movements in particular are not that subtle; they always seem to make faces & go bright purple.

So basically I was thinking of trying a moderate version; of course he'll wear a diaper, but if we manage to catch him in flagrante then we'll whisk him over the toilet. Either way we won't make a big deal about it. Does that sound reasonable?

*My favourite power struggle story -- a friend's daughter at age 2 1/2 would *refuse* to empty her bowels unless she were standing facing a corner wearing her party dress. I think her parents are thinking of telling this story when her date arrives for her senior prom...