I have no words for how happy this makes me

[moominmolly]

From http://www.lrc.state.ky.us/record/02rs/HR256.htm :

A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.

WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and

WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and

WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and

WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;

NOW, THEREFORE,
Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky:

Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.

Section 2. The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and impending whoopin' so that they may remove their casino vessels to friendlier waters.

Comments

Re: whoopin'

[veek.livejournal.com]

Awww, but it would've been so neat if the state of Kentucky's webmasters had that much of a sense of humor!

Re: whoopin'

[dot_fennel]

Well, apparently the LEGISLATURE does. See

http://www.snopes2.com/legal/kentucky.htm

for details. Basically, it's not binding so they can enjoy themselves as much as they want.

Re: whoopin'

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

Does this mean that I won't get to start my new career as a privateer on the Ohio river?

Re: pillaging riverboats

[vokzal.livejournal.com]

I'll join you!

Especially if the casinoboats in question have chicks in short skirts!