this isn't security, this is a striptease

[beeeeeep]

"Step over here, ma'am."

"Hi... okay. Spread your legs, feet shoulder width apart. No, a little wider. Yes, that's it. Yesss. Arms out."

"If I find anything with this scanner, I'm going to need to pat you down to resolve it."

"Jacket off. That's better. Yes, much better."

"Sit. Unlace your boots. I'm going to need to take them. Ohh, nice socks..."

"One leg out now. A little more."

"Up again. Feet out."

"It looks like your belt. I have to ask you to undo your belt now. Grip the buckle in your left hand."

"Now pull the belt out and hold it away from your body. No, further... a little more... that's right. Just like that. Now try switching hands. Use the right hand -- yeah."

So there I am, in Logan airport, standing in a glass cage in my sock feet and a little black tank top, doing the kinky security shakedown with my leather belt. They've sure as hell federalized; the security staff at Logan was all young, well-muscled, wholesome-looking folks. O'Hare (which has also been federalized) seemed to have a wider age/race range, by a long shot. Also, they were more efficient. No stripping, though.

Visited Chicago this weekend for fishfoo's wedding. I got to see a lot of good people for not very long. The laser tag bachelor party kicked butt but seemed to lay waste to several items of clothing and a few body parts. Also a shame that we didn't figure out the rules until it was time to go home. D and I sent the groom home at 6 AM with a cute single babe, so I feel that I did my part. :)

And now, I succumb to a meme.

( Some questions and answers. )

I keep thinking of succumbing to the "ask me a question" meme, too, but it would appear that I'm just too lazy to set up a poll...

the anti-crush continues

Had a meeting with the Funny Little Man at work yesterday. He is a tiny, badly-rendered caricature of a person. I swear he looked like a sandworm masquerading as a human through sheer force of will. I kept expecting his face to open up into rows of teeth, or wondering if I shook my head really fast if I could catch a glimpse of his true form.

Let me reiterate that he's never done anything to explicitly make me uncomfortable or piss me off. He's not unfriendly, he doesn't dump work in my lap, whenever I end up helping him on anything he thanks me politely and honestly, etc. He's not even horribly disfigured or smelly or lacking in the concept of personal space. I just look at him and GAAAAAA. Creepy.